In healthcare, “goals of care” conversations usually happen when things are serious. Typically they happen when the disease has become severe, cure is no longer possible, and time is getting short. The conversation focuses on, among other things, your quality of life and how you prioritize being as comfortable as possible versus living as long as possible.

And goals of conversations tend to happen too late.

That’s because – believe it or not – most doctors don’t receive formal training in walking you through a high-stakes, emotionally-charged, goals of care conversation. That may mean they are uncomfortable discussing your goals of care until they feel like the conversation is absolutely necessary.

That may be ok with you, but if you’re here I’m guessing it’s not!

I created the Goals of Care Jump Starter for people living with a serious illness who don’t want to wait to have a real talk with their doctor about their wishes. This guide is for people that are ready to take the lead, but need a little help with the words and structure around the conversation.

Here’s what to do:

1. Read the prompts, and write the first things that come to mind. Seriously, do not overthink this
2. Sit down with the most important person in your life – ideally this is the person that would be at your side in the clinic or hospital, maybe even making medical decisions for you. Read your answers. Share why you wrote what you wrote. See how they react. What do they say? Make any changes or additions to your answers that you’d like.
3. Bring your Jump Starter to your next doctor appointment (specifically, the doctor who is managing your specific serious illness). Tell your doctor, “I’d like to share a few things about my goals of care,” then read your answers.
4. After you share, ask your doctor: “Based on what I just told you, do you think we should be doing anything differently right now?”

And maybe the answer will be “yes.” More likely the answer will be “no,” but you will have made it clear to your doctor that these conversations are important to you. And equally important, you will have propped the door open for another conversation with your doctor down the road.

You got this!

PS: Wait a minute, you don’t have a copy of the Jump Starter yet? Don’t worry, I got you.